Invisible contracts create much strive for many individuals. Have you ever made a promise to yourself or someone else, only to later break it? If so, you’re not alone. Most people, at some point, falter on their promises. But what if I told you that even without vocalizing a commitment, we can still form these contracts?

According to George Mercier, author of “Invisible Contracts: How Words Create Obligations,” our words can create unseen commitments that bind us to specific actions.

What Are Invisible Contracts?

Such contracts are implicit agreements we enter into with ourselves or others. These contracts often arise from our spoken words but can also emerge from our actions or even our silence.

For instance, if you tell a friend you’ll help them move on Saturday, you’ve established an invisible obligation to assist them, despite the lack of a formal agreement. If you fail to show up, your friend might feel let down or betrayed.

They can also be formed through actions. For example, when you start a relationship, you implicitly agree to be faithful. Even if you don’t explicitly pledge loyalty, your behaviour conveys this expectation.

Furthermore, silence can create contracts. If you witness someone being bullied and remain silent, you’re tacitly allowing the behaviour to continue.

The Impact of These Contracts

Such contracts have a profound effect on our lives. They can push us to act in ways we might not otherwise, or they can deter us from actions we might regret.

For example, the invisible contract to help your friend move could drive you to rise early on a Saturday and assist them. Without this commitment, you might have chosen to sleep in and missed an opportunity to support your friend.

Conversely, an invisible commitment to remain faithful to a partner can prevent you from straying. Without this commitment, you might have succumbed to temptation.

The influence of invisible contracts is significant. They can be harnessed to foster positive change or to constrain our actions. Ultimately, the choice is ours.

Managing These Contracts

Understanding these contracts is crucial for effectively managing them. Here are some strategies:

1. Mind Your Words
Recognize that your words create invisible contracts. If you’re unwilling to commit to something, avoid promising it.

2. Be Conscious of Actions
Actions also form invisible contracts. For example, entering a relationship signals a commitment to faithfulness, even if unspoken.

3. Acknowledge Silence
Silence can be a form of agreement. If you don’t speak out against injustice, you’re tacitly endorsing it.

4. Be Deliberate with Commitments
When making a commitment, consider carefully what you’re agreeing to and why. Ensure you’re prepared and willing to honour it.

5. Be Open to Renegotiation
Situations change, and sometimes commitments become unfeasible. When this occurs, renegotiate the commitment. Communicate with the involved parties to reach a new understanding that works for everyone.

By applying these principles, you can manage invisible contracts more effectively and use them to create positive outcomes in your life.